I sat quietly in my comfortable chair enjoying the peaceful quiet in my personal cave. The thought crossed my mind when meditation began that this time I would stop time while I escaped to solitude. I knew the world around me would flow on the river of time while I basked in this one moment.

It would be nearly sleep, where the world goes on and we awake later to find that time has passed. This time I would relish every nuance while I stayed at that moment and explored its complexity. My mind thought about leaving my eternal soul on the doorstep, but it whined fiercely.

So together, we entered the darkness as one. Time stood still as we floated to the source of our being. The moment did not move forward on the river of time, only the music changed. I asked my true self to be silent and not create a running commentary on the trip.

Inky blackness caressed us, emotion flowed strongly of love and acceptance. The mind and soul tried to grasp it and observe it causing time to tick forward. I can never go back, I can only begin my search at this new moment. Like the smoke from a campfire, love danced with my emotions again, never far from my soul.

The magic revealed in this timeless journey is at our core we are loved, no escaping it. Inside, and outside to the end of the universe we are blanketed in self-love, selfless love, and eternal love. The music played, the bells rang and time began an hour later.  I smiled, feeling refreshed, assured and loved.

DREAMING A LIFE (Living the dream)

I once wrote in a poem: “Reality to you it seems is twice as simple as my dreams.” This was a criticism of a parent who had such a firm grip on exactly what reality was and how the world worked that no other opinion was tolerated. I saw the shades of gray and the multifaceted hues of color that gave our world life and diversity. Naïvely limiting the world to one correct viewpoint seemed criminal.

My mantra has always been “we create our own reality.” ~2700 years ago Gautama Buddha said: “We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts, with our thoughts we make the world.” The intersection of Buddha’s thoughts with quantum physics is unmistakable.

From the earliest days of quantum theory visionaries like the 1918 Nobel Prize winner, Max Planck saw the connection and stated: “I regard consciousness as fundamental. I regard matter as derivative from consciousness. We cannot get behind consciousness…”

Late 20th Century thinking furthers this exciting line of thinking. R.C. Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University provides a compelling summary: “A fundamental conclusion of the new physics also acknowledges that the observer creates the reality. As observers, we are personally involved with the creation of our own reality. Physicists are being forced to admit that the universe is a “mental” construction. Pioneering physicist Sir James Jeans wrote: “The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter; we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter. Get over it and accept the in arguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual.” Source “The Mental Universe” in the publication – Nature

I could cite the quantum theory experiments conducted over the past 100 years that provide positive proof that the observer creates reality in the subatomic quantum world. But I won’t go there; you can find many great summaries of the double slit experiment and other experiments that prove the role of the observer is critical to creating reality.

When we think about a dream, we know the dream world is not solid matter reality. It may seem so real that it frightens or excites us but when we awake and realize it is a dream it evaporates into a memory without substance.

Solid matter reality is a different beast. I can kick a tree or bang my hand on a stone and it hurts no matter how hard I concentrate on it becoming a vibrating energy pattern that has no physical form. Yet quantum physics tells me that no matter is solid it is all made up subatomic size energy vortexes. Photons and quarks and energy based subatomic particles comprise everything we are and the universe is. We do not live in a solid matter reality we are a vibrating energy signature in an energy based universe. If all the space was crushed out of the atoms that make up our physical bodies the remaining particles would be smaller than the tip of a needle. If we looked closely at those particles we would find they aren’t particles. The same can be said for the earth if all the space in all the atoms was removed we would have room on the tip of our needle for its energy too. We could probably even fit the universe right next to us. The point is not to make you feel small and insignificant but to make you appreciate that consciousness has the potential to influence the energy based world around us.

We have been given the indisputable fact that our physical matter reality is a gigantic dream world comprised not of physical particles, but of vibrating energy vortexes. At the electron level, experiments prove that a single consciousness does influence how our energy based world manifests itself. The amount of consciousness that each of us control cannot influence enough of the physical world to change physical reality quickly. I believe that over a lifetime, a life lived with peace, love and positive emotions creates a physical reality that reflects those values. On the flip side, negativity, distrust, hate and dwelling on being a victim creates a destructive hell on earth that destroys health and wrecks life.

Expanding what we know as true in the quantum world of subatomic particles to the totality of the physical universe leads us to some interesting speculation. Reality is created by a mental activity called observation. A universe size mental activity points us squarely toward the unknowable concept humans have called God. From the moment the singularity of compressed subatomic energy elements exploded in the big bang every atom of nature was created by a conscious observer. Nature evolves, experiments, and observes as it progresses along the river of time. Somewhere along the way the animal man descended from became self-aware, and was gifted with consciousness. Not so much that we can stick our hand through a rock but enough to influence our own little corner of the universe.

Collectively the more people concentrating on positive emotions, peace and love the closer we will get to heaven on earth. I am convinced that God is consciousness and individual consciousness is the manifestation of God in a person observing a small slice of reality. In this way God is all knowing of every thought and action. All powerful, in that every atom of matter comes into existence by God’s observation and present everywhere, in that God is at least as large as the universe. We are not separate from God or each other; one consciousness lives on for eternity. In the afterlife we can dwell on what we are, the well-being of our ancestors and what we did or we can explore what all of consciousness (Human and Alien) has achieved throughout the universe.

There is no need to be swept away to a heavenly dimension we already exist as part of the collective consciousness of the universe.

I don’t really know how it works but if your soul drags around the baggage of sins, transgressions and evil deeds it will probably require some remedial work before further development can occur. Whatever you believe in that lets you leave that baggage in the past is a positive step and perhaps the door to the kingdom.

You can put words in God’s mouth about how much God loves us, cherishes us or wants us to act a certain way. If a million people prayed to heal my aliment he might take action or perhaps observing the emotion, grief and suffering might be the goal. Either way in the end he will envelop our consciousness as part of the whole of experience and take us home.


Demolish the barriers to joy. Being happy is easy, you can choose to see only the good, and exist in a happy state. Finding joy is another matter; it finds you and wells up from the root of your soul to envelop the totality of your existence. It is not a matter of just feeling good, it is an ecstasy that embraces the totality of your existence.

Our resistance to joy begins in the space between our ears where we play the tapes that we use to protect us from hurt. Throughout our early life if we let our guard down we can get hammered with major trauma. After a bad experience we are likely to queue up the tape that says “never let our guard down again.” Being watchful and wary or guarded limits our ability to go beyond happiness to joy.

When your bubble of joy pops often enough you tell yourself “this can’t last.” Declining to enjoy the moment, because joy is fleeting protects from the let downs but avoids the peak experience. You may think that joy always ends badly when life returns to normal and try to protect yourself from the peaks and valleys. Embrace the joy and find happiness in the memories when you return to the valley. Life will never be all roses. Maintain a healthy perspective on the balance.

The third tape that constantly plays inhibiting joy is the rules. Our family drills the rules into your brain from the moment you acquired language they box you in for a lifetime. Your tape plays them over and over; be kind, honest and trusting, don’t be silly, wasteful, lazy or crazy. Avoid danger and adventure. Some days the stretch to joy requires breaking a few rules, at least for a while.

Abandoned dreams can offer another path to joy. Taking a passion out of the: “I will never be good at that” bucket is a real thrill. Neglected dreams are a source of joy that our subconscious desperately wants to tap.

Changing the tape playing inside your head isn’t an easy task. Try a new script; let your guard down. Tell yourself over and over that its ok be: lazy, crazy or silly.

Choose happy, break the barriers joy will choose you.


You say hog wash, yet science has experimentally confirmed predictive physiological anticipation of up to 10 seconds. That’s a mouthful of big words but it is a straight forward statement.

Unconsciously we anticipate future events. How can this be, how do we make sense of this?

If we continue to think of time as a forward flowing river we must live our reality at least 10 seconds from the leading edge. If the Higgs Boson field brings mass to every particle in the universe the leading edge of time is a wild churn of continuous creation. It makes sense that our consciousness lives back from the edge. The interesting question is; “Do we live 10 seconds back or an eon back?”

Notice that the second line says physiological anticipation not conscious anticipation. That means our body reacts with measurable physical changes to prepare us for an upcoming event before our conscious mind sees the event. Tuck and roll baby, tuck and roll.

Having actual consciousness of the future even a few seconds early would be a game changing evolutionary event. All-be-it a confusing one.

Perhaps a select few over the course of human history have had partly conscious access to the future. If people like Nostradamus did see 500+ years into the future we may actually live way upstream on the river of time.

We may think of life as a series of free will choices. At the leading edge of existence I believe free will rules life. If our consciousness lives back from the leading edge of time from our perspective everything that ever will happen, has happened already.

Precognition defeats procrastination, so get on with it, you already decided…

Sam is a Jack-o-Ranian (1/2 Jack Russell 1/2 Pomeranian)


The day you take my buddy Sam away I am going to cry. I’ve got to tell you he is a special little guy.

From his please play with me whine to his “here’s the ball throw it again, and again.”  He loves life from beginning to end.

Then there is the “thank you so much for the treat DO YOU HAVE ANYMORE ??? When it’s all gone he’s out the door.

Have no fear he will bark to scare the bad shadow, bump or spirit.  Sometimes they are sneaky and you don’t even hear it.

Heaven forbid an actual person comes to the door requiring his big dog bark, growl and roar.

Most evenings Sam hangs out at my feet seldom disturbed.  Safe and secure, not a bit perturbed.

Sam will shadow me all day pretending he’s the top beast; but when mom heads up he disappears, selling out for a taste of ‘Fancy Feast’.

Sam sleeps until someone is ready to let him out on his way, and he’s the first one back looking for a treat to start his day.

English is his second language and he knows the important words like ball, walk and play. He learns a little more every day.

He is the best buddy to Marijo at least until the treats run low.

Walks are better than a treat; woodland walks off leash can’t be beat.

Swimming on a hot day is great and chasing a ball is the best bait.

Retirement means all day fun, Sam gets to run and run.

Fresh water all the time, inside bowl, outside lake doesn’t rhyme.

Be safe my friend you are always welcomed for a day or a lifetime.


I choose happy, how could I choose otherwise?

Yes I see the world through rose-colored glasses, I prefer it that way.

I stand shielded from the terrorists, politicians and other idiots that the media uses to pee on my parade.

I have some of the best rain gear and shelter in my northern fortress.

Life is good, the view is incredible, there is no traffic, no bosses no assignments and no need to earn a living.

Win or lose I am happy watching my favorite sports team.

Let’s pause for a glass of wine on Old Mission and then grab pizza and a beer at Shorts on the way home.

Like a ghoul its days like this that make my lips hurt. Love that mutilated lips pizza.

I feel blessed but I recognize the feeling as happy and positive, not as joy.

Joy pops by at the most unexpected times and wraps me in her embrace, those are visits I cherish.

I really expect that the better I become at living in the moment, the eternal present, the more this love affair with joy will rule my days.

Joy doesn’t just make you happy, it swaddles you in protective custody and takes happy to a whole new level.

How can I embrace joy when the world suffers in so many cruel ways?

It’s easy, I don’t live there, my world is the red pines, a calm lake and the last fall flower smiling at me.

The release of dopamine floods the reward circuits of the brain, novel situations feed it.

When the happy fire is fed to overflowing joy makes its appearance.

It floods your body from the mind to the soul.

You can choose happy but you can’t choose joy, it chooses you.

You can recreate the moment with the same people and stimulants and only find a pleasing happy glow, joy is elusive.

Be close to the present moment, soak it all in.

If joy slips in relish its embrace, explore its rough edges and smooth methods.

You can’t force joy to be present; it sneaks up on you unexpected and yet it is always invited.

Finding that something more, to take happy all the way to joy is a worthy quest, you never know what it will be, an emotion, a feeling, a taste.

Nor do you know if it will slide on by without blessing you with a taste.

I remember joy:
• The first bite of the last peanut butter cookie when you know it’s the last one you will see for a month.
• Hugging your girl and knowing you would move a mountain to keep her safe.
• Swaddling your newborn and hugging her for the first time.
• The first sip of an ice-cold beer when the supreme pizza walks through the door.
• Sitting on a beach and knowing that for this moment all your loved ones are safe.
• The first draw on a Cuban cigar 10 years after ending a 35 year addiction. (no that is not a memory but a future joy)

Seek that secret ingredient that keeps you in the present moment and bridges the gap between happy and joy. Slowdown that moment, embrace its many facets. When it slaps you in the face with elation, pause and soak it all in. Create a holographic detailed memory you can revisit.

There are plenty of dark paths in the world that lead to joy and then speed right past into the depths of darkness and despair. Don’t play with fire, leave the Meth, Coke and needles for those without hope.

Choose happy, enjoy the positive side of life, when joy visits embrace the unexpected pleasure.



Day dreaming in an elevator
The knife sank into my chest
Simon and Garfunkel sang:
“Bye, bye love
Bye, bye sweet caress
Hello emptiness
I feel like I could die”
Embracing emptiness and loneliness
Saying goodbye to romance.
Burning reality
Dissolving bonds
Changing times
Why care?
There is no past
No great record book
No all-knowing history
On the same note
The future is only a dream
All we have is NOW
A contiguous eternal present
Until we order a time travel device
We bounce along where we are
Ignore the past
Seek joy in the present
Or jump and die
Bury the past, screw the future
Waste no cycles on either
One with the world
One with your lover
One with the moment
What has meaning?
What is irrelevant?
What comes next?
Embrace the wonder
Kiss my sister
Fading fast
The song ends in despair:
Goodbye my love goodbye